Node Scare

Time's passed-- lots of time-- and I still don't know the results of my treatment. I'm feeling a lot better, but I don't feel different. I'm not any more or less bumpy than last Easter (when my hair fell out). Until last week. I found a huge lump in my in my neck. One day it wasn't there, the next day it was. It was oddly positioned, so, no matter how many mirrors or at what angle I tried, I just couldn't see it. It was hard, and hurt when I tried to manipulate it. I didn't want to say anything to my doctor for a couple reasons: 1) I just can't take any more bad news, and 2) I've been behaving badly towards medical professionals lately and didn't want to have to apologize for prior rudeness in order to ask for something now (I'll tell you about it some other time).
So, I've been going about my business trying to pretend that I didn't know that I'm dying... again. And things just haven't been great. Our finances suck. We tried to refinance the condo, and it turns out we're so far underwater that we're hanging out with those creepy glow-in-the dark fish. Eric had to get a second job and dropped a class we've already paid for. He's constantly sleepy and cranky. I've arranged for more hours at work, so I won't be able to spend as much time with Evangeline, so I'm grumpy. Whenever we open our mouths, we seem to say something mean to each other, so we're mostly just quiet and awkward.
And Evangeline has hit a new stage. I was warned that the "mines" were coming, but Evangeline has been surprisingly generous and opened to sharing. Instead, the terrible 2s have been all about "I never ever" or phonetically "I neber eber." Evangeline neber eber uses the potty chair. She neber eber stops kicking the cat. She neber eber takes a nap-- you get the idea.

All in all, the stress levels in our household have been toxic.

Finally, reluctantly, I asked Eric to check the lump in my neck. I was ready for him to get out a flashlight, examine the bump, madly goggle, and get back to me later with alarming possibilities. Instead--

"It's a zit."

"What?"

"It's a great big pimple."

"Are you sure? it doesn't feel like acne."

"It's a zit."

That night I popped the neck lump while I was in the bath tub. It popped like a pimple. The atmosphere in our house is still tense, but I feel better. In fact, I've neber eber felt so good about a zit.