Lump

I found a large round lump on my lift side jawline. It's almost perfectly symmetrical and hurts if I poke it (more than most things hurt if poked-- come on, you know what I mean). It feels like a marble under my skin, but the marble isn't immediately noticeable on sight. Eric has done some Internet research to try to figure out what's there. There shouldn't be a lymph node or sinus cavity on your jawline, right? What's there to bulge? It's worrisome, but not my only symptom: I've had multiple nosebleeds and my ass is dragging (literally and figuratively-- the Janeen paradox: if I don't start doing lunges soon, my butt will skim the concrete on my walk to work, but I'm just too tired to even imagine myself exercising.)
I see the doc on Thursday. I'll report back.

Last Nap

Today is my last Thursday afternoon nap. Next week I go back to working full time. Evangeline is off to preschool. I don't know which I find scarier. I'm feeling really good, but by Wednesday night, I usually fall asleep around 8:30. Also, earlier this week I had the nosebleed to end all nose bleeds. Probably unrelated to cancer or Zevalin (right?), but it makes me think-- if I've almost run outta' numbers on my personal calendar, do I really want to spend my days at the office? If I'm not going to make it to Evangeline's wedding, I don't want to miss a moment with her now. That thought has led me to some pretty creepy behaviors, like watching my daughter sleep and counting her inhales and exhales.

Whatever. No matter how misty I get about time away from the little one, it has to happen. The medical bills are out of control.

As far as chemo type side effects: This last week the hot flashes seem to have dried up. So that's a plus. And I've gotten a few little pimples on my nose which makes me feel like my body is acting closer to normal. I've been jogging with the baby fairly regularly. OK, "jogging" might be an exaggeration. I've been doing sorta' a shuffle behind the jogging stroller. Stop your snickering-- it counts as exercise.