The big day. I kissed Eric goodbye and dropped the little one off at daycare. I stopped at 7-11 to buy my first lottery ticket ever [SPOILER ALERT: I didn't win]. As soon as I checked into the hospital, I was issued a surgical mask because I was still struggling with pneumonia. This was the first time I would be CT scanned at my new hospital, and I liked the new rules. In the past, I had been instructed to got without food or water for 12 hours before the scan, except for the last hour when I had to gulp down 2 huge barium shakes. My new hospital just required a 4 hour fast. Once at the hospital I was given a short glass of what I thought would be refreshing water, but turned out to be some concoction that, judging by the taste, was mostly bleach and chlorine, followed by a barium shake. After the CT scan of my neck, chest, abdomen and pelvis (all in all a relatively quick and painless process), I was weighed, blood pressured, temperature taken-ed and poked for blood tests. I headed out to the waiting area to discover my husband waiting for me (surprise!). When my name was called, we followed the medical assistant into an examining room and waited some more. First the nurse practitioner examined me ("exam" means to poke neck, chest and tummy looking for lumps), then the doctor came in and examined me. Then we waited for the CT scan results. Then the doctor came in and waited with us for the CT scan results. Then the doctor sent the nurse practitioner to find my CT scan results; no luck. Then the doctor went to find the CT scan results; no luck. Then the doctor took us to the back office to look for the CT scan results; no luck. Finally, the doctor told us to go home; she would call us with the results.
Remember, I've been waiting for these results since December, so, I did turn the bitch on a little when the doctor suggested we leave the hospital with no results, but I was assured I would be called by the end of the day with results-- so we went out to eat.
I was starving. Remember; I hadn't eaten all day (first to prep for the scan, and then because I was too nervous). I ordered madly and Eric uncharacteristically agreed to all my demands. I placed my cell in the middle of the table. We ate in silence, staring at the phone. After dinner but before ordering dessert, the phone rang---
Janeen: Hello?
Voice over the cell: Janeen, It's Dr. ___'s nurse. I've got some bad news.
I felt my chin start to quiver and looked around the restaurant. I was determined not to cry in public, but I wasn't above crying in a public bathroom, so I started scoping out the best route to the ladies' lounge.
Voice over the cell: you have pneumonia
Janeen: (screaming) I don't care about the pneumonia! what about the cancer?!
Voice over the cell: cancer? the cancer's fine! [but she stretched out "fine" like "fffiiiyynnnne"]
Janeen: (frantic, but not so angry) Fine? what does "fine" mean?
Voice over the phone: remission
So, that's that. Eric declared "so this is a celebratory meal." I took a deep breathe and started texting family and friends.
Sooooooooo-- Today is June 6th. Why did it take me so long to finish up the blog? The good news has taken awhile to sink in. I'm really waiting for a follow up call from the doctor saying I've contracted some new life threatening illness... but I guess it really is going to be ok.
Life does seem lighter. Now that I have a good 30 years to pay it off, the debt we've accumulated over my illness isn't bothering me as much.
So, in sum-- Zevalin works. Three cheers for radioimmunotherapy.
