week 9

So, to review-- my immune system was supposed to hit its weakest point between weeks 6 to 8. This is week 9, and, frankly, week 9 sucks more than week 6, 7, or 8. I'm not sleepy, but my body feels like it's filled with sand. I'm having trouble filling my lungs with air. I'm noticing lots and lots of bruises, but I don't remember injuring myself. And the bruises are in strange places, like inside my knee. I am bleeding a lot. All ten fingers are covered with multiple paper cuts and each cut was a gusher. And each cut seems to catch me by surprise: usually when I'm meeting a new person in a professional capacity far away from any kind of stop bleeding supplies. I've been trying to ball up my fists to nonchalantly stop the bleeding, leaving bloody fingerprints on the bottom of my palms. I wouldn't want to shake my hand.

I think the issue is that I've had a "everthing will be better if I can just make it through week 8" mantra since the Zevalin injection. Now, I'm on week 9 and I think I've wasted all my andrenoline on the last 8 weeks.